Julius Caesar

• Caesar's also up late, pacing around in his nightgown, lightning and thunder as the backdrop. His wife Calphurnia has cried out "Help, ho! They murder Caesar" three times in her sleep, which he's taken as a bad sign.
• Caesar tells a servant to order the priests to make a sacrifice and see if they can rustle up a good omen.
• The now-awake Calphurnia approaches Caesar and demands that he not leave the house that day. Caesar of course refuses her. He claims that danger can't look him in the eye. (It's like he invented Chuck Norris!)
• Still, Calphurnia is pretty dead-set against Caesar leaving. She's not a superstitious lady, but she's seen lions walking around, the dead rising from their graves, and warriors in the sky, and she's dreamt of the Capitol covered in blood. All of this makes her worry.
• Caesar points out that the gods will get their way, no matter what he does. Here he delivers the famous line, "Cowards die many times before their deaths; the Valiant never taste of death, but once." He sees no reason to fear death, since death comes to everyone in the end.
• Caesar then gets word that the sacrifice didn't go so well: the beast they killed didn't have a heart! Caesar – maybe arrogant, maybe brave – takes this to mean that he would have no heart (or courage) if he stayed home today. He then claims he's more dangerous than danger itself (very Johnny Bravo).
• Calphurnia pleads with Caesar to stay home. If anyone asks, he can say it's his wife that kept him home so he won't look like a coward for not showing up at the Capitol. He doesn't agree until she's gotten down on her knees. He decides to humor her and have Antony cover for him with some excuse about feeling ill.
• It's about morning now, and Decius shows up as promised to take Caesar to the Capitol. Calphurnia asks Decius to tell the Senate that Caesar is sick. Caesar points out that he's conquered nations and is not worried about some old senators knowing why he had to stay home.
• Caesar tells Decius to just tell the Senate he won't come – they don't deserve any more of an explanation than that. Still, Caesar says, because he loves Decius, he'll tell him the real reason he's staying home. (Definitely a bad move.)
• He confides in Decius that Calphurnia had a dream in which Caesar's statue poured blood from a hundred spouts, like a fountain, and that happy Romans surrounded the statue bathing their hands in the blood.
• Decius is a quick thinker, and he knows he's got to get Caesar to the Capitol to kill him. So he deliberately misinterprets the dream. He says that of course Caesar had blood spilling all over happy Romans. Decius claims the dream means Rome will be revived by Caesar's blood, and everybody will want a little bit of that wonderful infusion. (Decius really means that Rome will be sustained by Caesar's spilled blood – not his current, happily circulating blood.)
• To end all discussion on the topic, Decius offers Caesar the cherry on top: today the Senate is planning on crowning Caesar king, and if he doesn't show up they might change their minds. They'll make fun of him for being a scaredy-cat and staying home because of his wife's dreams. Decius claims he only says these things out of love.
• Caesar takes the bait, calls Calphurnia foolish, and heads off with Decius to the Capitol.
• It's 8 in the morning by this time, and all the other conspirators have gathered at Caesar's house to make small talk as promised.
• Caesar invites them all to have a friendly morning drink with him before they go, and Brutus privately laments that Caesar can't tell that his supposed friends are his soon-to-be murderers.
  • The crowd of traitorous senators and a bunch of hangers-on surround Julius Caesar just outside the Capitol. Decius, a traitor, offers a "suit" or a request from Trebonius to Caesar.
  • After a vague but ominous interaction between Caesar and the soothsayer, Artemidorius pleads with Caesar to read his suit (letter) first, as it's dearest to Caesar. (This note tells Caesar of the plot and names the conspirators.) Caesar, the picture of humility, says that, because he puts the affairs of Rome before his own, he'll read Artemidorius's suit last. Artemidorius presses him, and Caesar brushes him off: "What, is the fellow mad?"
  • Before Caesar has time to consider that he's committed the biggest mistake of his life, he is hustled to the Capitol by Cassius. Cassius says Caesar shouldn't just give audience to every Tom, Dick, and Roman in the street – he needs to hurry to the Capitol.
  • As Caesar enters the Capitol, Senator Popilius wishes Cassius good luck in "today's enterprise."
  • Naturally, the conspirators flip out a little bit – Popilius, who is now chatting up Caesar, seems to know about the plot. Brutus, calm and collected, assures everyone that they're just scaring themselves. Popilius smiles with Caesar, who looks unconcerned, so he clearly hasn't just heard about the murder plot.
  • Meanwhile, Trebonius is busy luring Antony away, and the plan is falling into place. Metellus will come up close to Caesar, pretending to have some request, and everyone will gather around him to fall into killing position. Cinna says Casca will strike first.
  • The team breaks and hustles as Caesar calls the Senate to order.
  • Metellus is the first to come before Caesar, and he begins to kneel, but Caesar cuts him off. Pretentiously referring to himself in the third person, Caesar says such stooping might appeal to lesser men, but it won't sway him. Caesar declares that Metellus's brother (whom Metellus is making a request on behalf of) will remain banished. Further, no amount of begging and pleading will shake the great Caesar, it only makes him scorn the beggar. (Caesar, in his arrogance, definitely makes it harder to be sympathetic towards him here.)
  • As Metellus is making his plea for his brother Publius, Brutus joins in and kisses Caesar's hand, which totally surprises Caesar. Cassius falls to Caesar's feet.
  • As Caesar is surrounded, he declares he definitely won't change the law to accommodate Publius. He declares himself to be "as constant as the northern star." While every man might be a fiery star, all the stars move except the northern one. Caesar identifies with that star, so he's not about to change his mind.
  • The conspirators press on, and Caesar demands that they go away, saying that their pleading is as useless as trying to lift up Olympus, mountain of the gods.
  • Caesar is shocked when Brutus decides to kneel. Suddenly Casca rises to stabs Caesar. Brutus stabs him too.
  • Caesar's last words are some of literature's most famous: "Et tu, Brute? [You too, Brutus?] – Then fall, Caesar!" It seems Caesar is willing to fall if one of his most noble friends, Brutus, would betray him. This is moving, even after the whole, "I'm the most special star in the whole galaxy" speech.
  • Immediately after Caesar falls, Cinna proclaims, "Liberty! Freedom! Tyranny is dead!" and tells everybody to run and spread the message in the streets.
  • Brutus realizes that all the other folks standing around in the Capitol watching Caesar bleed might be a bit shocked. He tells them to stay and relax, as "ambition's debt is paid," meaning Caesar's death is the cost and consequence of Caesar's ambition.
  • Casca directs Brutus and Cassius to the pulpit, probably to address the crowd, when Brutus notices he can't find Publius. Cinna points out that Publius is looking shocked by the great mutiny, and Metellus urges the conspirators to stand together in case Caesar's friends in the Capitol want to start a fight.
  • Brutus then challenges everyone to come back to their senses. No one wants to hurt anybody, and he hopes no one wants to hurt them. Brutus, maybe sensing that the plan to become heroes for killing Caesar has not come to pass, adds that only the men who've done this deed will bear its consequences.
  • Trebonius enters to confirm the worst: Antony has run to his house, shocked by the act, and people are shrieking in the street like it was Doomsday.
  • Brutus then basically says: "We all know we'll die eventually, and life is just the process of waiting for the days to pass before it happens." (Maybe Brutus should get a hobby, or a support group.) Brutus goes on to suggest that, as Caesar's friends, they've done him a favor by shortening the period of time he would've spent worrying about death. Interesting logic.
  • Weirdly, Brutus then calls everyone to bathe their hands up to their elbows in Caesar's blood and to cover their swords with it, so they can walk out into the streets and the marketplace declaring peace, freedom, and liberty in the land. (This is notably reminiscent of Calphurnia's dream.)
  • Cassius says he's sure this bloodbath will go down in history as a noble act, and everyone agrees that Brutus should lead the procession into the street, as he has the boldest and best heart in Rome.
  • Just then, Antony's servant enters, causing the marching band of merry, bloody men to take pause.
  • Antony has sent word with his servant to say Brutus is noble, wise, valiant, and honest, and, further, that while Antony loves Brutus and honors him, Antony also feared, loved, and honored Caesar. Antony thus pledges to love Brutus if he can get some assurance that it's safe to come around for a visit sometime and hear the story of why Brutus thought it was OK to kill their leader. Regardless, he'll be faithful to Brutus from now on.
  • Brutus tells Antony's servant that his master will be safe if he comes to the Capitol. Brutus is sure glad they can all be friends again.
  • Cassius, however, is still suspicious of Antony, and as the resident expert in treachery, he's usually right about spotting it in others.
  • Antony shows up and makes a great show over Caesar's body, weeping and wailing. He worries aloud about who else will be killed over some secret grudge the conspirators might hold.
  • Antony then pleas with the conspirators to kill him right now if they want him dead, as to die by swords still fresh with Caesar's blood would be the greatest death ever, hands down.
  • Brutus then pleads with Antony that, though the conspirators' hands are bloody, their hearts are pitiful. After all, someone needed to do this terrible deed for Rome, to drive out fire with fire. Brutus promises Antony he will only met with love.
  • Brutus promises to soon explain the reason they've killed Caesar. Right now, though, they've got to go out and quiet the public, which is a bit frightened of the men who stopped for a quick dip in Caesar's blood.
  • Antony says he has no doubt that Brutus probably had some very good reason to kill Caesar, and he shakes bloody hands with the conspirators all around. He then looks on Caesar's corpse and begins a long-winded speech in praise of Caesar, whom he has betrayed by becoming loyal to his murderers.
  • Cassius interrupts this dramatic posturing and flat-out asks whether Antony is with them or against them.
  • Antony says he was committed to the conspirators, but then he notices Caesar's corpse again (still lying on the ground at their feet), and the plan to be down with the murderers suddenly looks a little less savory. Still, Antony will remain their friend if they can provide some reason to believe Caesar was dangerous. Brutus promises they can and must.
  • Antony's only other little request is that he be allowed to take the body to the marketplace and to speak at Caesar's funeral.
  • Brutus, ever trusting, readily gives in to Antony's request, but Cassius senses foul play and pulls Brutus aside.
  • Cassius warns Brutus to bar Antony from speaking at Caesar's funeral, as he's likely to say things that will incite the people against the conspirators.
  • Brutus will solve this problem by going to the pulpit first and explaining in a calm and rational manner his reasons for killing Caesar. (Rationality always goes over well with angry mobs, right?) Brutus will explain that the conspirators have given Antony permission to speak (meaning he's not an adversary), and that Caesar will have all the lawful burial ceremonies. Brutus is certain this will win them good PR all around.
  • Just to make sure, Brutus makes Antony promise not to say anything inflammatory at Caesar's funeral. Instead of blaming the killers, he should speak of Caesar's virtue by focusing more on Caesar's life than his death.
  • Antony promises and is left alone to give a little soliloquy, in which he reveals that he fully intends to incite the crowd to bloody murder against the conspirators. In fact, there'll be so much blood and destruction that Caesar might show up from hell with the goddess of discord at his side, and mothers will smile to see their infants torn limb from limb. (Ew.) Well, the man has a plan.
  • Just then a servant arrives with the news that Octavius is on his way. Octavius is Julius Caesar's adopted son and heir, and Caesar had recently sent him a letter asking him to come to Rome.
  • Antony tells the servant to hold Octavius where he is, just seven leagues from Rome, as it's not safe for him in the city yet. He says Octavius should come after Antony has had a chance to give his speech and kick-start the mob rioting.
  • The servant lends Antony a hand to carry Caesar's body out of the Capitol.
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  • Brutus and Cassius hit the streets, surrounded by crowds of common folks. So many people are clamoring to hear them that Cassius takes one group off while the others stay to listen to Brutus speak.
  • Brutus ascends to the pulpit and the crowd falls silent. He delivers an earnest, honest, and simple speech.
  • First, he says that the people should trust his honor, which they know to be true. He asks if anyone can say they loved Caesar more than he did. No one can.
  • Brutus says he rose against Caesar not because he didn't love him, but because he loved Rome more. If Caesar were still living, they'd all be slaves. While Caesar was a lot of good things, he had to die for his ambition. To have let him live would be to submit to slavery, and that's downright un-Roman.
  • Brutus asks whether anyone doesn't love Rome and freedom, and of course the answer is no. So obviously Caesar had to die.
  • Everybody is buying this, but then Antony shows up with Caesar's body. Brutus introduces Antony to the crowd and closes his speech by restating that he slew his best friend for Rome's sake and that he will turn the same dagger on himself if his country ever needs his death. (Sounds like foreshadowing.)
  • Everyone is so happy with Brutus that there are some calls to give him a statue among his ancestors and to make him the new Caesar. (These folks are really missing the democratic message of his speech.) Brutus politely dismisses himself and asks everyone to stay and listen to Antony's speech.
  • The crowd is firmly behind Brutus, and they shout out that Caesar was a tyrant and Brutus has done them all a favor.
  • Then Antony takes over, with the famous speech beginning: "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones; so let it be with Caesar."
  • The crowd is as good as sold there, but Antony manages to stealthily bring it around to the opinion that Caesar has been killed wrongfully. He begins by insisting that Brutus and the other murderers are honorable, but then proceeds to slowly undermine that statement by pointing out how their chief gripe against Caesar, his ambition, could not be true. Antony gives examples of how Caesar loved his people, bringing in money to the country, weeping with the poor, and even refusing the crown three times. Clearly, he suggests, Caesar wasn't ambitious at all, but was devoted and loving to his citizens.
  • Antony uses a little reverse psychology on the crowd, getting them to clamor to hear Caesar's will by insisting that they shouldn't hear it. He descends to read them the private document but gets sidetracked by mourning over Caesar's body.
  • Again Antony insists Brutus is honorable, but then points out the gash Brutus made in his friend's bloody body. Antony repeats this pattern over and over, until all are in agreement to burn, slay, and otherwise do not-so-nice things to Brutus and the other conspirators.
  • They're so caught up and ready to go a-rioting that they forget about Caesar's will. Antony has to remind them that they wanted to hear it.
  • After the mob gets the news that Caesar left them some nice gardens and 75 drachmas each, they decide to cremate Caesar in the holy place and burn down the traitors' houses with the same fire. (Even the mob has a sense of poetic justice.)
  • As the mob sets off to carry out the chaos and killing, Antony delights that his plan has worked.
  • He then gets the news that Octavius has come to Rome with Lepidus. Both men are waiting for him at Caesar's house. Good fortune is upon them, as they'll be the new triumvirate (the three-man team that ruled Rome).
  • We learn that Brutus and Cassius have fled the city like madmen.